It’s Not a Rut. It’s a Line In the Sand
When it’s all possible, what do you DO?
The next aligned step.
I have been building Upward & Inward for a while, and yet I only just went full-time and out on my own two months ago. For the past 12 years, I've been building and delivering programs in the entrepreneurial ecosystem while directly supporting founders and internal innovators on their growth journeys. It was creative, innovative, and fulfilling. Until I noticed it dim ... and I seemed to reflect a bit less light, shine a bit less bright. Don't get me wrong, this was an amazing experience with even more amazing humans, which honestly kept me so in for so long. However, my own longing was louder. I became viscerally aware of my heart, brain, and gut conspiring in taps, motion, and inspirational beats in a build-up to some sort of epic drum solo. I felt the need to expand, which included experiencing more –more personal challenge and growth, more deep and widespread impact, more true connection across layers, and witnessing more humans coming alive.
I hit the ground running and had some very exciting yearlong projects kick off with Diode Ventures, Pipeline Entrepreneurs, and Individual Impact Leadership Coaching clients. There I was doing the "work", interacting with intriguing and driven humans, building on my passion areas and zones of genius, and it felt exhilarating! The drum solo was in full surround sound, and I allowed the beat to take me into flow. I especially love playing conductor, facilitating curiosity conversations, sharing experiences and growth with other expanding Impact Leaders. It truly was all so fresh, creative, and expansive. It was also a whirlwind.
I planned for this. I knew much of what I was jumping into and that the tempo would a very rapid pace and then slow after the first couple weeks of planned engagements. I intentionally held space for this. In weeks 4 and 5, I took it all in more fully. I trusted there would be a coming down of sorts, and yet I was determined to "screw my courage to the sticking place". I did what I recommend so many clients do, look back for a moment to take it in. I took in all that has shifted visibly and continues to reverberate internally. On purpose, I allowed a breather. While progress did not come to a halt, I also invited my emotions from the shelf I'd placed them upon lovingly. At the time of "busy" or fullness, I told my more disruptive emotions,
"I see and recognize you. You have every right to be here. Right now, I have promises to fulfill and projects to execute upon. However, my promise to you is I'll give you more devoted attention after this."
And I did. I allowed for some unstructured time to feel into the freedom. I welcomed a release – which turned out to be a chord of colorful emotions from all the change. Some surprised me, some I know all too well, all were welcome. This allowed me to move forward with intention, tethered to purpose, working with a happy nervous system.
Now I'm two months in, and all that momentum and excitement is still there. In fact, it's grown in so many ways. And then inevitably, a well-known yet somewhat annoying friend came knocking at my brain... with the familiar urge to push, be perfect, fill the calendar and the bank account. [insert eye roll]. I'm not immune from being human, and those other peak-performance habits, perfectionist pressures, and voices of fear are there as well. And along with all of that, it's paired with no one clear path. The freedom is both exhilarating AND dizzily daunting.
When it's all possible, what do you DO?
The next aligned step.
If you're like me, perhaps you see the big exciting vision, a full symphony, an abundant future and hold yourself of the now up against these milestones of the future. Then I remember I'm not a time traveler. When my current reality didn't match that beautiful future vision, I caught myself thinking, "Oh shit, am I getting into a rut!?" No. It is not a rut. This is a shallow line in the sand. The gift is I see it. Rather than being pulled into the gravity of rumination, obsession, and analysis paralysis, I think I'll just step over it.
Yes. Now that feels better.
In these moments, when my fear voice gets loud, I like to tell myself, "It is all figureoutable. I am well-resourced. There is enough time."
Key Takeaways:
Loosen Your Grip on Expectations – In our pursuit of growth or achievement, we can develop rigid pictures of what it "should" look like. When reality doesn't match that, simply get curious. Notice what what you've learned. What surprises you? What you might tweak?
Give Your Emotions Voice and Schedule Time With Them – Emotions and bodily signals are precious data to be integrated. These help us take in the journey, discern, create more authentically, etc. When emotions feel especially big, or perhaps the overlapping emotions are noisy or overwhelming, create intentional space for them. If they are robbing you of focus, acknowledge them fully. Then follow through on your promises to tend to them soon. If you don't, they'll ensure they're heard later, likely in a much more disruptive (sometimes debilitating) manner.
Take Aligned Action – Focus on the next aligned step rather than being overwhelmed by the entire staircase.
Leverage Movement – Changing scenery and even literally moving your body can do wonders to shift your energy. Step over the shallow line in the sand. Look up from there and it may appear different.
Embrace Community and Connection – Connecting with others provides perspective, pulls you out of purely self-focus, and can offer supportive resources and outlets for emotions and actions.
So, I want to know from you, #ImpactLeaders, how you overcome perceived inertia, mental rut illusions, or the icky threat of stuck?
Thrive on!
Ari DeGrote
Founder | Impact Leadership Catalyst